Bianca Venerayan on What it Means to Know Yourself

Last fall, we sat down with writer, producer, and yoga teacher Bianca Venerayan at her cozy home in Toronto to learn more about what it means to be yourself and how cannabis has helped her in her growth and self-care journey.

Blissed: How are you feeling?

Pretty good. I feel like I have to sit upright which is not normal for me (laughs). Act normal, act casual!

So tell me about yourself? 

I’m a writer, producer, yoga teacher, and I guess an Instagram influencer now that that’s a thing these days. I don’t feel tied to any of these titles. I’m going to morph a billion times from now until the day I die, so that’s that!

“I feel like authenticity means to be dedicated to unpacking or unlearning things that aren’t you. ”

What’s your story? How did you get started as an Instagram influencer?  

I went to school for fashion and quickly realized it wasn’t for me, but I continued going. I felt pressured to finish something at age 17. That drove me into a deep depression and from there, getting interested in what’s going on in my brain sparked my interest in pursuing yoga, meditation, and self-growth. The Instagram following happened organically with makeup and fashion outfits, but I started to care about mental health, the stigma behind mental health, and how to better it starting with my own story. So I started writing about it, got my yoga teacher certification, and now I do that. My passion lies in talking about knowing yourself and recognizing all those highs and lows, and how to cope with life.

Tell us more about knowing yourself. What does it mean to be true to who you are?

I feel like authenticity means to be dedicated to unpacking or unlearning things that aren’t you. It’s often hard to recognize what is you and what has been drilled into your brain based on society or your upbringing, the experiences you have in life, and how you see the world. I think it’s important to recognize that those are all part of you to some extent, but you can drop that at any time and switch over to something else. It’s about wanting that for yourself. It’s kind of funny being an influencer, because it’s like, “Follow me! Listen to me!” but really I’m trying to say is “Don’t follow me, follow yourself!”.

When did you start using cannabis?

Growing up I used cannabis for fun, but I started to recognize how helpful it was in terms of managing my mental health. Not to make me happy, but I used it to find joy in eating again. I would smoke specific strains to get the munchies that would make me eat. Then I started using it just to be able to go out and socialize. But then when I moved to London where cannabis isn’t legal, I stopped smoking in general. So now it’s reserved for very rare locations, like celebrating a friend who just sold a painting, or sharing a joint with my brother type situation.

When you were using cannabis frequently, how did you deal with the stigma around it? 

Well, I was raised Catholic in an Asian household, so any talk or use or anything related to cannabis and drugs is a big no-no. The stigma I faced was more often than not from my parents, and so being able to talk them through how it has helped me and educating them was a big part of myself accepting my cannabis use. I feel like a lot of stigma around cannabis use has been released in my parent’s minds because of legalization and my progress with it. I think I’ve used it mindfully and responsibly, and have changed my parent's perception of it.

What is your experience with cannabis oil?

I started using oils just this year. It’s very different from smoking a joint, so I think a lot of understanding of how to use oils comes from unlearning what a cannabis joint high is like. I found that I would not feel high, or whatever it is, having one dose of cannabis oil but realizing that’s not the point. Cannabis oil high is entirely different; I feel like it’s slower, onset, and balanced. It improved my sleep, circadian rhythm, and my wakefulness at the time. It’s a whole different method of consuming and it has an entirely different effect.

If I was a person struggling with judgment, what would your advice be?

You just have to be really sure about your cannabis use, and not really worry so much about what other people think if it’s helpful and working for you. The reason I wanted to change my parent’s perception of cannabis was because I thought it could help them, and I could see it was causing them stress to see their daughter use it. My advice would be to take note of all the reasons it’s good for you, and all the reasons it’s bad for you. Setting an intention for why you use cannabis is super important, and then let whatever’s outside of that fall away because it’s less important. If you’re really sure about why you’re using it, then you are unstoppable with what people say.

 This interview has been edited and condensed. Follow Bianca on Instagram @biancavenerayan